Must you holiday abroad while on leave? Get a proper rest without the stress and pressure

During a lull in the midst of a work meeting, a colleague casually mentioned that she had no plans to travel overseas while clearing her annual leave. Her revelation surprised everyone at the meeting table.
“What do you mean you are not travelling?” one colleague asked, presenting aloud what was the thought behind all the incredulous stares. 
It was the height of the leave-clearing season and everyone else was flying to Japan and South Korea, if not already in Bangkok, Thailand to shop or in Bali, Indonesia enjoying some downtime at a spa. 
My colleague’s non-existent travel itinerary felt almost “wrong” and even a “waste” of her leave days.
However, her decision and the reaction it received made me wonder: Why do Singaporeans instinctively assume that when people go on leave, they are bound to travel abroad for a holiday break?
Is it some kind of social status indicator? And if so, does that make other people feel inferior or even cause anxiety for not keeping up with the Joneses, known in today’s parlance as FOMO (fear of missing out)?
Do your peers assume that you always have the money to pay for overseas travel, just like they assume that you can afford the same lifestyle they have? 
To travel, you have to be rich not just with cash to finance your trip, but rich in terms of having the luxury of time.
And most of all, is travelling really the only top-ranked way to unwind, to soothe the nerves and promote well-being? 
Mental health experts said that a combination of cultural ideals, social media glamour, and the human craving for novelty fuels the expectation in our society that leisure time mandates a trip abroad to sightsee. It shapes the belief that rejuvenation requires leaving home behind.
Ms Priscilla Shin, principal psychotherapist at Range Counselling Services, said: “Also, in productivity-driven cultures, big trips can feel like a well-earned reward for hard work.”
These factors form a narrative that going overseas is not only a break but the most fulfilling way to reset and recharge. 
In a culture that glorifies novelty and escape, staying put can feel like a missed opportunity – or even a failure to use annual leave “well”.
The link between being on leave with being out-bound abroad stems from the idea that travel offers an “escape” from daily stress and satisfies the brain’s craving for novelty, the experts added.
“As residents of a small and densely populated city, the craving for novelty and openness is real, and travel abroad delivers it,” Ms Hill said. 
Travelling breaks up routines and that can be therapeutic and “liberating” for some people.
“Visiting new places, meeting people with different ways of thinking, stimulating the mind and opening our eyes to new possibilities seems like the perfect way to recharge,” she added. 
And then there is the typical Singaporean maxim of “maximising” every good deal and opportunity, ensuring they pack their leisure days to the full like at a buffet table.
Ms Shin said: “Some people believe that travelling makes the time feel more intentional and memorable, like they’ve really ‘used’ their leave well.”
Let’s face it: Movies and advertisements have done their part selling what a picture-perfect holiday looks like, from recharging far away with a cold drink on a pristine beach to snuggling up in the plush sheets of a hotel bed big enough to fit your entire family and the dog.
Yet, re-energising your body and mind is not about all these bells and whistles. 
Ms Shin said that truly resting is about “restoring our physical, mental and emotional energy to a level where we feel refreshed, balanced and capable of facing life’s demands”.
For example, physical rest can mean giving our body adequate rest such as quality sleep. And soothing our minds can be attained by engaging in stress-relieving hobbies or spending time in nature. 
On the emotional front, it can involve reconnecting with ourselves or loved ones, finding joy in small moments and reducing burnout.
Of course, these restorative benefits can also be achieved through travel and only you will know if they genuinely let you have some relaxation and recharge.
Ms Martine Hill, counsellor and director of Alliance Counselling, said: “It’s not just about doing less but about what feeds you.
“It’s about taking it slow, stepping away from the stress of the day, and doing something pleasurable or relaxing. Being rested is about returning to your responsibilities with more energy, focus and equilibrium.” 
Yes, all that may be achieved at an overseas resort as well, but what the mental health experts emphasise is that rest is not dependent on where you are. It is about how you approach it.
Whether it is a massage in Thailand or spending a quiet day at home in Singapore, the aim is to find activities that genuinely feed your mind and body.
Ms Radhika Haralalka, a counsellor from mental healthcare provider The Other Clinic, said to think of resting and recharging like batteries. 
Ideally, when we are “charging”, we should “plug it in and put it aside and not use it in the usual way”, she added.
Taking all these into account, travelling thus has its drawbacks.
It can be expensive, stressful and sometimes more exhausting than the routine it promises to break, what with the concerns over bedbugs and methanol poisoning and the risk of accidents.
Flights, itineraries and crowded tourist spots often add logistical challenges that detract from the rest that many people seek.
That is why the experts agreed that staying at home and doing other forms of activities can be just as restorative as going on a trip.
That way, you avoid all the annoying and cumbersome bits of travel – such as jet lag, packing and unpacking, airport queues and waiting time – and get right to the activities that refresh your spirit, Ms Hill said. 
“For some people, being home allows for rest, reduced stress from planning, and quality time with loved ones, which can improve emotional connection and relaxation,” Ms Shin said. 
What happens should this lead to feelings of “guilt” – self-imposed or otherwise – over not using leave to its “maximum potential”?
“This guilt can come from internal pressure or a cultural expectation that to be on leave equals travelling,” Ms Haralalka from The Other Clinic said.
“If we equate leave with resting and recharging instead of travelling, this can help with managing the guilt.”
Ms Shin said that we can also reframe what it means to “take a break”. 
“We can start by recognising that rest and recovery are not defined by travel. Recharging can happen in many forms and it doesn’t matter if it’s at home or abroad.
Many activities can be re-energising and restorative, and the mental health experts emphasised that the key is to identify the specific activities that are genuinely restorative for each person.
“Take some time to reflect on what makes you feel truly happy and refreshed. Think back to moments when you felt energised and at peace. What were you doing then?” Ms Hill asked. 
“For those staying home during their leave, the key is balancing rest, enjoyment and self-care,” Ms Shin said.
“The goal is to choose activities that feel enjoyable and replenish your energy without added pressure.”
Recommended forms of recreation include gentle physical activities such as stretching, walks in a nearby park or yoga to keep the body moving.
Research has shown that spending time in nature can reduce mental fatigue and improve cognitive performance, Ms Shin said.
I remember how, on the rare occasion I had a day off, a hike at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve, surrounded by nothing but trees and the sounds of nature, had helped me to forget the stresses of the day.
Other relaxing activities include painting, baking or writing, which offer relaxation and fulfilment. Even a “digital detox day” where you can read, meditate or enjoy the silence can be restorative, Ms Hill advised. 
Lastly, reconnecting with friends and loved ones can help build meaningful connections and release oxytocin, which promotes relaxation and reduces stress.
“Rest is about engaging in whatever genuinely replenishes our energy,” Ms Shin said, whether that’s solitude, creativity, connection or simply stepping away from our usual responsibilities.